Every year I say goodbye to friends. Friends I have worked with for years. That’s because every year principals with whom I have become good friends pack it in after many years of shepherding children through their formative growth. While I am always happy for them personally, I am also always so sorry to see them go. Not because I won’t be doing business with them anymore, but because I have honestly grown to value them as friends. I know their kids. I have never met their kids, of course, but I remember when they were sick in elementary school or when they left for college, when they got married, had children and so on. I remember because my friend and I talked about it at the time. I know where they went on vacation, and I know about the time a tornado knocked down their house, or their wife won the lottery or their town flooded. I know them because we are friends. This year alone, I will be losing touch with several good friends in Ohio. In Bryan, Ohio alone I am losing two good friends. Over near Canton, Ohio there is a gentleman I consider a very good friend who is retiring after more than forty years. I have been to his school myself several times, and we have worked together, picking his programs since 1992. I have listened as his son, whom I am sure is a great guy, left high school and applied at colleges, settling on a prestigious military academy. I listened as his son went off to war in the Middle east, and I listened to the relief in his fathers voice when he returned home safely, then married and began to raise a family of his own. These people are my friends and I will miss them!
But, I also worry to some degree about their schools.
Over the years I have been into every kind of school you can imagine. One thing I have learned is that the style and personality of the principal infuses itself into the personality of the entire school over time. The longer they are there the more this becomes so. And there are many different types of principals, just as there are many different kinds of people. I have seen some schools where the principal seems to have stepped right out of the Marine Corps and treats elementary age kids somewhat as though they are in boot camp. Tough it out, kid! While in other schools the principal’s office is filled to the brim with stuffed animals and children are practically smothered in daintiness and hugs. Then there are the college jocks whose offices are covered in sports or college memorabilia. And so on. And the thing... is it’s all good! But what is unsettling for kids is change. Kids crave stability. They like to know the rules and feel secure that the school remains the same despite the way in which they themselves are growing and changing. That the school is a sheltered place where they can relax and learn, safely and in security.
But when a principal changes, despite the best efforts of all concerned, the stability and safety is threatened. Teachers and staff must adjust to the new principal and their new and different ways. Kids sense this, and with even that slight shift in stability entire schools can change radically.
When my friends retire some will schedule their school assemblies for the coming year as always. But some feel uncomfortable scheduling for the incoming replacement. And that is understandable. No one wants to step on someone else’s toes. But I always gently recommend one thing. When the new man or woman comes into the building they are often overwhelmed with learning the lay of the land and getting up to speed. School assemblies are usually the last thing on their mind. However, the kids are used to having school assemblies, and their absence only compounds the other changes going on around them, causing more and greater insecurity. So I always suggest scheduling at least one assembly for the Fall. That way, when the kids come back to school, and before the new principal really has time to worry about such things, a great science assembly or a live animal school show or a visit from Ben Franklin is waiting to welcome everyone into the new year and the new balance of affairs. This conveys a sense of continuity and stability. Leaving other bookings to take place during the balance of the year for the new principal is fair enough, but just scheduling at least one to get things rolling has always proven a good bet for everyone involved, especially the kids!
But this really goes out to my retiring friends, principals especially, but also teachers and PTO moms. I love speaking with all of you on the phone while we set up your assemblies, and I miss you all when you leave my little world. All the best and good wishes to you all!
